Showing posts with label sunrise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sunrise. Show all posts

Sunday, 14 October 2018

Worship

Do you remember the time when you were on your knees and life was kicking the daylight out of you? You probably thought “That's it. I am never gonna survive this storm”. And yet you did.
You’ve surpassed the darkness. The void. The deafening hue and cries calling you into the abyss.

There were times when you crawled through a swamp. You felt suffocated, begging for a new breath. You must find humour in realising that the moment you were pushed to the edge, you rose, got up on your feet, and survived the inferno which could have burnt you to dust.

When was the last time you clenched your teeth and cried so hard that your voice died by the time it reached your mouth?
Was it a recent past or a forgotten one? 
If it is a recent past you would still have the feeling of exasperation and bliss that you get when you smell fresh rain; and if it is a forgotten past, well then it’s best be forgotten.

Have you been cursing your life, blaming it for conspiring against you, complaining how unfair it is? Aren’t you being unfair to yourself by doing so? How about for once, accept it as it is. Perhaps, your life would glare at you passionately and be kind at times.

How often have you blamed your heart for being naively stupid? Isn’t it responsible for most of your sorrows? Leaving you vulnerable. Compelling you to look for emotional support, which in actuality is the most lively myth there ever was.

There is a peculiarity about our heart though, if you haven’t noticed already. It might never forget the calamities befallen on it, breaking it to fragments; but it forgives. The forgiveness is not for anyone but for you. It cleanses your soul and prepares you for a new vibration.

Let's, for once, renounce our sorrows, smile at strangers, smile at our reflections, do favours without expecting something in return, ask well being of closed ones, muster the courage to listen to someones agony, walk slowly, hold hands, look someone in the eyes, pay heed to the surroundings, smell the flowers, run after the butterflies, let the rain drench us to the feet, ignore our critics, stop the comparisons, withdraw our noses from someones personal life.

For once, stand still in the open, spread your arms, and when the sunlight kisses every inch of your body, you would realise. The happiness that you seek so earnestly, had always been hidden within you. 






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Sunday, 15 April 2018

Before I fall out of love

That one night I lay awake wondering why I loved you. It was 5:20 in the morning and you were asleep. I couldn’t think of any reason strong enough to possess my mind and heart in such a manner that the mere thought of separation sent a chill down my spine. 

I couldn’t remember the day when we met, or the day when I fell for you. But I do remember the night when you possessed my soul, trapped it in your charm, and locked it within the fragile walls of your enigma.

Sad truth is, I know you don’t feel the same for me, and I’ve realised you never will. 

A distant and composed melody echoes in my mind, and tells me that one day you will feel for me. It is hope. Against all odds. 

A deafening whistle tries to suppress it, and tells me that one day it will wear away. It is reason. 

It tells me that my hope will stay alive only for so long, until it vanishes as a result of your apathy towards my love. Apathy is a strong word to describe your feelings towards me, but it’s what my heart says tonight. 

Before that happens, before I fall out of love, I wanted to pen down what I feel. Months from now, I might read this, to realise how I’d walked through a sandstorm once, and survived. I wanted to make a note of my feelings before I stop feeling anymore. 

There was a time, when I’d built an iron wall around me before you found your way through it. You’ve sneaked your way inside, not to tear me down to ashes, I suspect, but to give me memories I might cherish?

But memories are not always pleasant. Sometimes it is just the opposite. It is a reflection of all the things that meant a lot to me but not to you. A reflection of all the things we could have accomplished, but we’re afraid to. A reflection of the words unsaid, actions untaken, and feelings not shared. 

Imagine going into a room full of fond memories shared by the two of you. It soothes you, carves a pleasant smile, eases your mind, until you realise that you’re the only one who visits. 

I’ve not fallen in love with your beauty. I’ve not fallen in love with your jovial nature. Neither with your enchanting smile, nor with your shining eyes. I’ve fallen in love with your presence, and your perfect imperfections. Everything else is secondary.

Your presence around me makes me light as bird, floating above, oblivious of any stress or sadness. And it shatters my heart to realise that it’s just temporary. 

Before I fall out of love, I needed to confess how I loved tucking your hair behind your ears which kept falling in front of your face. How I drown in immense pleasure when you rested your head on my shoulder. How I felt like walking in paradise when you walk beside me holding your hand in mine. 

The way you tilt your head and speak in hush tone at 3 in the morning sitting beside me under a tree, I can keep looking at you until eternity. 

It is in your sweet smile that I have found solace. It warms my heart, and sends an impulse in my veins. 

Looking at you, I feel as if I am looking at the sunset towards the horizon, when a mesmerizing breeze caress my body. Though it feels soulful and looks beautiful, I couldn’t endure the distance that separates us, and when the sun finally sets, I am left alone in the darkness, waiting for my eyes to adjust.

You, my dear, have made me break every protocol, every promise I have ever made to myself. You came into my life like a hurricane and demolished my rules like a house of cards. 

All I was left with, were ashes which once were feelings disguised in the form of the smiling mask I wore everyday. 

Before I fall out of love, I'd to tell you that I’d imagined my life with you, living under the shadow of your radiance. I’d imagined myself talking about my scars and finding warmth in your consolation. 

There are no two ways of saying this, but, before I fall out of love, I’d like you to know that you’ve consumed my heart and one day I would like it back. 

I would lock it within an impregnable fortress never to be let out. Chain it with memories, and shut it behind the doors of my outright disgust.




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Sunday, 22 March 2015

Sunrise

In the midst of the crowd of various hypocritical people wishing goodwill at ones face and then later stabbing them at their back stood a lone gentleman nearly in his thirties waiting for his metro at a metro station. The station was swarming with the noise of people chatting about their days plan, a group of ladies discussing about a young man who has been dating his boss, noise of the sweeper sweeping the litter sprayed by these educated people and pouring them over into the trash bin, the sound of the metro halting passionately at its platform, the door separated and these people stuffed inside.
The station filled with people of different kinds, one had a briefcase in his hand and was yet to reach his office but still busy with his client over the phone, another waiting anxiously for the metro to reach his destination depicted his impatience by constantly tapping his feet, a young boy lost in his own world of music with earplugs stuffed inside his ears, an elder woman desperately searching her purse for something, maybe her cell phone, makeup tool, money for ticket or even the metro ticket itself.
Amid such a heap of people, workers and officials, the gentleman’s eyes were stuck on a little boy barely able to cover his body with his inadequate clothing, a torn blue shirt and a muddy undergarment. He, the boy, went from one people to another with a hope for alms or even a single penny. Some provided him with pennies, other denied him politely, some rebuked him with anger, but the boy never lost his hope. He kept up his hope unless the people lost their patience. In spite of being denied by most of the people the boy kept on moving from one person to another.
The gentleman kept on staring at the little boy with full attention until the boy reached him. The boy stood still before the gentleman with his arms spread towards the latter, silent and resilient. He kept on looking at the gentleman’s eyes with an unusual sense of hope. His face was torn and withered, his hairs could be presumed to be dead, his ragged and shabby clothes portrayed his condition, and his feet were covered with mud. The gentleman kept on looking at him with a polite smile while he reached for his wallet and placed a currency on his hand.
The boy was overjoyed and a huge curve carved on his face. He ran away from the gentleman, thrilled, and did not approach anyone else at that station. The gentleman watched him as the boy made his way out of the platform, walked down the stairs and followed his destination across the road. The gentleman had a strange feeling about the boy. He could have asked for more as others did but he did not, on the contrary he didn’t even approach any other individual as if the purpose of his soliciting was met.
A weird desire aroused in his heart to unfurl the purpose for which the boy was so desperate. It was already half past twelve in the afternoon and the sun was glowing over the people’s crown which even denied them their shadows. Ten minutes still remained for his metro to arrive when he got a beep on his cellphone. It was his sister, Jiah.
“Yes?” he inquired.
“Are you going to be late for your dinner?”
“Maybe”, he replied and hung up the phone. His conversation with Jiah lasted for a few seconds at most, few minutes if they had some argument. As he hung up the phone he saw something flashing, a snoozed reminder. It said, “Jiah’s Birthday” It was no surprise for him for it was not the first time he forgot her birthday. He simply pressed the cancel button and replaced the cellphone in his pocket. He could hardly remember when was the last time he faced her to give her his wishes. It was too hard for him to remember when was the last time they had their lunch together, or the breakfast, or the dinner. But Jiah never hesitated in asking whether he would be home for his supper. His birthday wishes mostly constituted of a text message which had almost the same pattern… Happy b’day, P.S.   Busy in some urgent work. Won’t be able to attend the celebration, My apologies.
The clock ticked twelve past forty when the metro arrived. The doors separated with a subtle sound which was hard to detect amongst the noise of the crowd. The man was still talking to his client over the phone when he stepped inside, the impatient man bolted inside as soon as the metro arrived. The gentleman hardly took a step to enter the locomotive when something caught his attention. At a market place not too far away from the station a crowd had gathered and judging from the pace of the crowd he could sense violence. It was hard to determine what exactly was happening there but the gentleman could see a boy being thrashed by an older man – A boy in a torn blue shirt.
The gentleman recognized him. He galvanized in action for the boy and ran with the highest speed that he was capable of. He rescued him from the wrath of the older man as soon as he reached the spot. The man had knocked him hard and a thin line of blood dispersed from the boy’s nose. The boy endured a skinned knee and the sleeve of his shirt was torn off.
“Leave him to me, I’ll teach this little fellow a lesson today”, said the older man.
“What has he done?” inquired the gentleman while he wiped the blood from the boy’s face and covered him with his coat.
“These little wayward fellows come to my shop and run away with some or the other thing”, explained the older man in his anguish “but not today, today I’ll teach him a good lesson”.
“Hey…hey relax”, the gentleman pampered the boy and insured him that he was safe and then turned to the older man “Did you ask for the money?”
“Oh what difference does that make, I know these cunning fellows, they…” the older man was interrupted, before his very eyes stood the little boy with his hand held towards him and a currency note stuck between his fingers. He was dumbstruck, ashamed while he took the money. The gentleman scorned him and the older man did what was favorable for him – apologized and left. The little boy stood up when the older man left and took out a loaf of bread which he had adhered inside his shirt while he was being beaten.
The gentleman was puzzled. An obvious question circulated throughout his mind… It was just a piece of bread. Why was it dearer to him than his life? He intended to ask the boy but then retained himself from doing so as it was none of his business. He reached the boy and sat before him.  “Are you alright, my dear?” he asked.
“You are the same person who offered me the currency. Aren’t you sir?” asked the boy with his juvenile voice.
“Yes indeed, little boy” smiled the gentleman while he placed his hand over his head. The boy took hold of his hand, grasped his index finger and pulled him pointing towards somewhere.
“Where are you taking me?” asked the gentleman, confused. The boy didn’t pay any heed to what the gentleman had to say, he just pulled his finger towards him and kept walking towards a destination unknown to the gentleman. “Hey boy, I would really appreciate if you mind telling me where we are headed because I am afraid that I am a bit busy for any silly game right now”
The boy said nothing. He just kept on walking mechanically barely paying any attention to what fell into his ears. His pace kept on amplifying as he reached closer to his destination. They crossed the road and headed towards a saloon. A thin miry alley stretched behind the saloon which was flooded with dirty puddle and mud as a result of yesterday night rain. The boy steeped right into the puddle without giving a second thought. The gentleman struggled hard to save his footwear in spite of which the mud got stuck into his shoe.
They emerged from the alley and reached an under construction building which seemed to be unattended for a long while. The gentleman saw a little girl lying on the floor who covered her body with torn attire, wrapped in a sheet, sleeping peacefully. The boy loosened his hand and turned towards the gentleman. “Who is she?” asked the gentleman while he looked puzzled.
“She is my sister, Sir”, said the little boy as he ran towards her and shook her from her sleep. She woke with a start and gave him a livid look. She said something which was inaudible to the gentleman from the distance. They talked for a moment when the little boy pointed towards the gentleman and said something which carved a smile on the girls face. The girl came to her feet and walked towards the gentleman with a descent smile on her face. The gentleman was still clueless about what was happening until the girl cleared his doubts.
“My brother told me how you saved his life from a mad shopkeeper. I’ve nothing to offer you sir except my gratitude. He is so foolish. Always ends up falling into trouble just for me. You see, it’s my birthday. He took so much trouble just to bring me a piece of bread as my birthday gift.”
The gentleman was astounded. His heart weighed heavy. He was overwhelmed to confront such love that existed between these two little beings. Such love which he never had for his sister. He flicked the drop of tear which emerged from the corner of his eyes and sat before the girl.
“Happy birthday dear”, he said.
The girl thanked him and then retreated towards her brother to give him a warm hug. The gentleman walked towards the alley lost in his thoughts. He was not aware while his feet immersed in the puddle and his shoe glued with the mud or maybe he didn’t care. Two little beings enlightened him, made him conscious of what he lacked in his life – Love. He realized that he was so lost in the corporate world that he was cut off from the warmth of love and relations. But, he was awake now, stirred from the illusion of the modern world. He went to a florist shop, bought a bouquet consisting of a pile of roses, dahlias and some orchids and a card which read “Happy birthday, Sis"

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