Today I knew what it is like to have an Indian mother.
I woke up early but it took me a while to get myself up from bed. I had my exams a week ahead of me. Consequently, the first thing I did was to gather notes from my friends and rush for the Xerox centres. I had an empty stomach and the scorching heat of Nagpur's signature summer added to the flavour. After a couple hours of tiresome adventure I returned to my dorm. Laying down in front of the cooler I exhilarated my mind and reached for my phone to dial my mom. And after few well wishing and concern making this was what she said,
"Go and have something to eat, Beta(Son). Have your lunch if it has arrived yet. You sound starving"
Yes, I do was starving. And she sensed it. An Indian mother with her hidden sixth sense of sensing her child's dilemma even before they do realise it themselves. I love you mom, you are among the best things that ever happened to me.
A wise man once said, " God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers "
With a gasp of relief I turned the last page of the last chapter,
" Done with one subject at least ", I reminded myself.
It's funny how the eleventh hour preparation makes us so laborious that we accomplish all that we couldn't do throughout the semester. Tonight I feel the adrenaline running through my veins. The thought of approaching final judgement vexes me so bad that it couldn't leave any hope of merrymaking - watching movies, hangout, fancy dinner , a date.
Probably the last exam of my life, and then I'll be back home. And, life would change entirely from what it was these four years. The hours long leisure time with friends would change into text messages and phone calls, the frequency of which would diminish with passing time. Today I yearn for mothers recipe, tomorrow I will ask for the junk food shared among the four close souls. The four souls, who in a matter of few weeks would go their four separate ways towards their four separate destinations. The hangout would change into group chats on WhatsApp and though we could have all sorts of laugh and jokes, the hearty laughter of ours when we pull each others legs would go unmatched. The bonding string of our friendship is strong, that I believe. But somewhere deep inside I fear for someone among us to go too far away for the string to split. I fear for the strangeness that we would witness in each others eyes when we meet in days to come, a clear reminder of how our lives have changed.
If you want to walk ahead, you have to leave your past behind, they say.
Never thought a past could be so priceless that it could substitute for a thousand approaching presents. Its hard for me, its hard to walk ahead when there is so much to stay behind. I don't want to, but I have to. Even if I stay behind, life won't stop for me. It would go where its supposed to, and there, I would be alone again. So, its better if I keep walking and hope for something greater.
Years ago when I was about to join the college, I was happy. I was happy to go to a new place, to meet new people and to make friends with them. I liked the freedom, the independence. It was nothing like it is now. Back then, my heart wouldn't have weighed so heavy thinking about the separation. But today its like I have a new family, a new home, a new identity; only to perish within a month.
As mournful as I am today, I am equally grateful to have lived this life. To have found love, friendship, happiness, served with a slight taste of hate, sadness and remorse. More importantly, I have inched into a phase entirely different from what I could ever imagine in my wildest dream. I have a special memento stuck in my mind of all the special priceless moments but I am unsure, whether in near future it would bring a smile on my face or tears. Smile for being a part of such a beautiful span, or tears for not being able to reclaim what's past.
And I lay here, helpless, waiting hesitantly for the last leaf of the last chapter of a beautiful four years to turn over.
The feeling of ecstasy followed by a notion of reminisce and nostalgia. Tonight marks an end to the most celebrated span of my life - my college life. The events that passed in a span of four years of college life had blurred most of its memories. And now, I lay here looking forward to start a new life. A life with new footsteps, new environment and new people. Leaving behind a series of best moments I walk towards an unending destination. It frightens me, the loneliness that would follow thereafter. It feels as if I am about to leave a better half of my life behind. But, here I am, looking forward to a brand new rising sun.
No, you don't need to be a photographer to capture life.
With three years of college life behind and few months left ahead of me, I along with my most close buddies, Sheekha, Ankit and Neha, decided to take our first trip together. To the very place where the beauty of its atmosphere cut the very link of attachment to the rest of the world. A week after we made our plans, we packed our luggage and headed for the biggest tourist hub of India, GOA.
I could not say for everybody but for me it was the first time that I had been to such a place where even the sun scorched with a hint of politeness. The leaning coconut tress on either side of the road seemed to welcome their guests. The warm sound of the waves crashing on the shores and the scent of the wet sand gave a mesmerising feeling. The slender streets snaked through the city surrounded by the green.
The people there were polite, gentle and ever ready to help. They were unlike those impatient workaholics who lacked the responsibility to consider your problems. One day when I followed my friend when he had to buy a pack of smokes, he asked an elder shopkeeper for the place where he could buy those. He explained the route in the kindest manner, asked where he lived and conversed with him for quite some time. I mean, who has the time to be interested in knowing a stranger these days. An utterly bored idle person maybe, but not a shopkeeper of course. We left him with his business and bid adieu by exchanging smiles. A kind, gentle fellow he was.
Oh, and let me not forget to mention the beverages that you could get there at cheap rates. The biggest boon for some people.
Everyday was spent by waking up, indulging in our phone searching for places to visit and setting them on our GPS. Same old routine felt so exciting those days, so much different from what it is today. The daily breakfast of bread and butter with a green coriander chutney . Little distasteful but again, it was new for us and anything new is always welcome.
The long rides on rented mopeds with those dull helmets which looked like inverted lid of some utensil. The rides were mostly long rides as we took our resort away from the beaches. The first evening were spent witnessing the sunset at Baga Beach. We left the place at the break of dusk and decided to come back again. We did, two times. And later wished we never should had made the third visit.
We made the second visit at midnight as we wanted to feel the night life. We chose a table nearest to the beach where the soothing sound of crashing sea waves felt more alive. Sheekha sat beside me. The breeze was colder than we anticipated. She crossed her arms tight in an attempt to shadow the bare portion of her body. Neha and Ankit sat on another table adjacent to ours. The stark naked sky hovering above looked so beautiful and calm. We looked at the motionless sparkling stars above and tried to make any pattern while waiting for our food to arrive. We could hear the cheerful laughter from the next table, laughter of Ankit and Neha. And I got a momentary reckoning that instant. How beautifully life changed for us withing a span of days. Everything seemed so beautiful and out of the ordinary. It vexed me to know that one day this was about to get over.
Too good a night it was, and the food, DELICIOUS.
Of all the beaches we visited there, Vagator Beach and Mandrem Beach were among the most serene beaches. Often referred as the Lonely Planet, the gold sparkling salt sand of Mandrem Beach reflected beautifully during the sunset while the sea breeze was soother at Vagator Beach. And of course the forts, the most remarkable and memorable attribute of Goa. Chapora Fort and Aguada Fort, they still stood tall after decades only to make us see the entirety of scenic beauty. The miles of green stretch and miles of sea water scattered all around us.
And then arrived the night of horror when we made our third and last visit to Baga Beach. After finishing our dinner we were about to leave when suddenly I realised that I had forgotten to pick up my cellphone from the table. I rushed back but unfortunately the tables were picked up and restaurant was closed down. After hours of searching, loud heated quarrel between the restaurant crew and Sheekha, searching again, I realised something. I realised that the phone was not the only thing I forgot to pick up. I could not find the moped keys in my pocket. And my room keys too.
That night feels like a nightmare today but still it remains the brightest memory in my mind. That night we spent looking over each other. Scared, not for ourselves but for each other. We found my cellphone after some time but not the keys. We sat there till four in the morning fearing that if we leave, those people at the restaurant would come with the keys and steal our moped. How foolish of us. Nobody steals a rented vehicle.
Then when we got to our senses we decided to go back and then return in the morning with a keymaker. We still had the key of one moped. We made two trips and reached our resort, made the guard to break the lock and slept like babies.
Our hearts were warm with remorse on the final day of our stay. Bidding final goodbye to Ria and Zora ( the resort managers), we pulled our luggage into the cab and left for the railway station. For the last time we looked outside to the polite scorching sunlight and the bent coconut trees marking our departure. For the last time we made witness to the green landscape around us. The slender streets and the snaking turns. Farewell Goa.
"Look Dad, I made it!". She said, proudly revealing her trophy, staring at the stars dangling from the heaven, with bright moiste...
